No Ones Life is As Perfect As Their Social Media Feed

No Ones Life is As Perfect As Their Social Media Feed

No ones life is as perfect an their social media feed

The explosion of social media over the last 15 years has opened doors for people in many ways;  It has the power to connect like minded people all over the world, at any time and it gives instant feedback and it increases your visibility. In the world of chronic illness it has given people the power to educate themselves about their conditions, to share and learn from each other’s expertise, allowing them to become truly empowered in their own health and wellness so that they can work with health professionals to manage their conditions long term. Personally, I have learnt so much online, instant access to information fuels my desire to know more, I have connected with some truly amazing people from all over the world that I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do otherwise and it has opened doors for me to raise awareness about living with chronic illness in schools, hospitals and universities.

However, we must be mindful that this virtual world is just a snapshot of reality. People can be who they want to be.  The shiny pictures of your friends new house hide the crippling mortgage repayments that they struggle to meet each month.  The beautiful smiling family photos mask the fact that their marriage is being held together by a thread.  Make up and a smile can be a beautiful mask for depression, grief, chronic illness or pain.

Let me show you what I mean

I’m going to show you a peek into our lives to highlight that what you see on my social media feed is not always all that it seems.

I took some lovely family photos on a trip to London’s South Bank a couple of years ago. We look like everybody else, minding our own business and enjoying the sights. What those smiley photos of my family don’t show you is that the reason for our day out in London was another road trip to one of the city’s many specialist hospitals. An attempt to make a ‘day of it’ once we had travelled into town.

They don’t let you know about the conversations with my husband deciding if we should hire a wheelchair for the day for my son or if he could manage a few hours out with us without it. You don’t see that my daughter used her wheelchair for most of the day, but hopped out for the photo opportunities with her brothers.

The smiles hide the fact that my daughter is feeling poorly with a sore throat and by the end of the day she said her heart hurts just because she has stood up out of her chair.

You don’t know that the reason we had a few little sit downs along by the river was not the soak up the sights of the South Bank but to pace and rest on the way to our destination. Due to my son coming over unwell and clammy or because I just had to take the weight off my feet for a minute.

It doesn’t show in the photos that the motivational speech by the Lego artist at the start of the exhibition really hit a chord with me. As he talked so eloquently about his inspiration for the exhibition and that everyone is a superhero and can overcome life’s adversities. He could have been talking just to me.

My smile and make up mask the fact that every step I took was excruciating as my knee is finally falling apart and is bone on bone in the joint as I walk. And by the time we had looked around the exhibition the toes on one of my feet literally felt like they were on fire and cramping all at the same time.

The photos don’t show you that when we stopped for food the first thing that we ordered was tap water so three of could top up on our pain meds.

They do not show you that the next morning my daughter was on the sofa under a blanket with HR monitor on her finger and it kept jumping to the high 140’s as she was still feeling poorly and her autonomic system was just out of whack. Or that our son did not really surface for a few days as the inevitable pay off for our day pursued.

You see this is the reality of living with a chronic illness that social media rarely shows. I love the fact that we can share in life’s triumphs, that I can read positive things on people news feeds, smiling children, happy couples. Lord knows we need to celebrate those things more than most but we need to remember that an afternoon out doesn’t mean that we are cured, that we aren’t tired or hurting or going to pay terribly for it later.

A smiling face, great lighting, a photo filter, just like a shiny new car often masks the truth and that is never more true than in the world of social media. It is important not to feel threatened by or envious of the false reality that we see everyday.

Comparing yourself to others

We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others. We are all too unique to typically compare ourselves fairly to another. Other than never really knowing the full picture about someone else life, you must remember that you are unique, your talents, successes and value in this world are unique solely to you. How can that ever be compared fairly to someone else?

At the end of the day when you waste your time focusing on comparing yourself to someone else you are concentrating on the wrong thing. There is only one life that you have control over at the end of the day and that’s yours.

It is important to remind yourself that no-ones life is as perfect as their social media reels and no one is living an untroublesome life, weather you are close enough to know about it or not.

Finding inspiration and learning from others is wise, humans are amazing and there is so much knowledge that we can acquire from each other, but there is a fine line between this and self comparison. If you find that comparison keeps showing up in your life, a good place to start is notice the effects that this is having on you. Intentionally remove those thoughts from the inside out by reframing them in to the positive.

Work on comparing yourself with yourself. Spend your time and energy on being the very best version of you. Commit to looking after yourself physically, emotionally and to grow a little more each day. Learn to celebrate your wins without comparing them to someone’s shiny life on the internet.

Remember, no ones life is as perfect as their social media feed.

You may also like LESSONS I’VE LEARNT TO HELP ME LIVE WITH MY CHRONIC ILLNESS  or HOW TO SET GOALS WHEN YOU HAVE A CHRONIC ILLNESS 

Want to start with looking after yourself, but are not sure where to start? Join The Thrive Tribe on Facebook and download your free copy of my ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SELF CARE and HANDY CHECKLIST, details below.

girl pretending to be superman her wheelchair is out of shot. Social media does not show everything!
mum and daughter smiling and having a cuddle. Social media does not show the full picture, that they have just dosed up on pain meds
girl taking popcorn from a lego joker, what social media doesn't show is that her wheelchair is just out of shot.

Join The Community

The Thrive Tribe is a community of women who have chronic illness or are a parent to a child who has an illness or disability.

You may feel like no-one understands what its like living with your chronic illness or worrying everyday about your kids. That you are hanging on by a thread or the future may feel a little uncertain. In The Thrive Tribe we get that.

You value life and want to be the best version of you. To manage your symptoms effectively so that you can live your best life. Or, to support your children to live theirs.

In the community we will be having real, open conversations about how you can do this. With my experience of living with multiple chronic illness’ and raising kids with CMT, EDS, PoTS and ME. I know that the struggle is real. I will be sharing guidance, challenges, my personal tips and real life stories to remind you of how this can become a reality now!

When you join the Tribe you can find your ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SELF-CARE and HANDY SELF-CARE CHECKLIST available in the files to download.

A 10 minute guide to understanding that self care is far more than having a bubble bath and lighting a scented candle. Why it is important to plan for if you have a chronic illness or are caring for someone who does and, a handy checklist to get you started with great self-care practices to support yous physical and mental health and that fit who you are!

 

Home Schooling During The COVID Lockdown – Top Tips To Survive!

Home Schooling During The COVID Lockdown – Top Tips To Survive!

Let’s face it, for all parents in the UK this January plans will have changed. The further restrictions placed on us all by the latest COVID lockdown means the nation once again will be faced with our children accessing learning from home.

Some of you will have started with your kids in school. Some will have known they were home for a little while but were planning to have them back in school within a couple of weeks. Others may have made the decision themselves to keep them home anyway.

Whatever your situation we are all facing the prospect of home schooling our children till at least February half term and unlike the first lockdown the weather is not on our side.

It can feel a bit like groundhog day.

The hardest things to deal with during times of uncertainty can be the unknown and the lack of control over the whole situation.

Four years ago my oldest son got sick with myalgic encephalomyelitis on top of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.

Since that point he has been home schooled or has had access to online learning as he isn’t well enough to attend school in a physical school building. His GCSE’s were planned to be taken from home long before the pandemic took hold. Lockdown has been going on in this house far before COVID.

I’d like to share what I have learnt over the last four years of having a child in lockdown so that you can survive homeschooling and to use the time to make the bond between you and your kids stronger than ever.

 

Communicate

Keep talking and listening to each other, even messaging your teenage kids throughout the day. Making time each day to be present with each of your children.

There is definitely a place for Disney + or bingeing on Netflix, if you have an important work call to take, or are trying to get dinner ready – you are not superhuman. At the very least ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ has inspired a love of chess in our house. But, ask yourself at the end of every day ‘How long have I truly been present with my children today?’ Listened without distraction, laughed, hugged?

When my children were little they used to love to do the ‘key jar’ activities at meal times, a jar full of random questions to get everyone talking and listening to each others point of view.

We still all have meal times together and I make sure that I spend time with each of them every day to chat doing something different – right now that’s playing cards, painting, completing physio exercises or checking on the chickens together.

However, when our son was first sick and bed bound with ME it would just laying with him while he slept so he knew that we were there. There are no right and wrong things to do, whatever works for your family.

 

Have fun

Right now it is really important to provide lots of light relief, all work and no play is no fun for anyone, especially children. There has to be a balance between the work you want them to do and opportunities to have fun.

Your child may have been sent home work to complete independently (or with your help) as opposed to online with face to face teaching support. The teachers will be providing worksheets and tasks to make your life as easy as possible but the activities may not be the most stimulating for your child. Remember right now most of this work will be revision, so don’t stress about it.

Inject some fun into the tasks that have been set. You know your child best so are best placed to tap into what they love and make the whole homeschool experience more interesting.  If they are learning WW2 how about researching the German officers with the best moustaches and write about them. If they are learning money in maths and have a slime obsession (if you are a parent to an under 10 you will understand), ask them to work out how much it would cost to make enough slime for their whole class. Extend them by asking them if they could they sell it for a profit? This can be applied to anything that they are learning.

It also involves having fun outside of whatever learning has been set. Playing games, having movie nights, holding a disco with a playlist of everyone’s favourite music, having an indoor picnic (or outside if you are brave enough), building a den, going for walks. Ask your children what they would like to do for fun with you, I bet that they have loads of ideas.

 

Be calm

Stay calm especially if your child isn’t. Your child may be feeling all different emotions such as highs and lows, anger, blame, sadness etc. Allow them their feelings and to talk them through but don’t force it. They may be a little unsure of the expectations on them at the moment, depending on their age they may be stressed out over exams or missed school trips. Stress and anxiety will show its self in different ways.

They may also not do exactly what you want them to do exactly when you want them to. Here it is important to be calm and step back and be aware of your own feelings before responding, you will be much more likely to respond with calmness and purpose. Good communication and setting clear boundries will really help.

 

Work together

This will help to get everyone on the same page and get clear on those expectations and boundries without setting strict rules. By creating action plans and timetables for their work it will help them be more independent and stay on track.

Is their a project at home your kids would like to do with you throughout this time? When my son was poorly with ME we made a vivarium for his lizard.  My husband built it, with our son offering support mainly in a supervisory capacity! Then our son designed his vision for the vivarium and together we built it. It took much longer than we initially planned because he wasn’t well enough to do much in one go but it got us together, it involved lots of problem solving and gave him a purpose. He was really pleased with the end result.

During this lockdown our middle son has built perches and roost ramps for our chickens and is learning how to wire electrical circuits to support his latest science module at school. These types of activities are great for problem solving and solution focussed outcomes. Whatever they do make sure that you celebrate their achievements.

 

Be the anchor

In times of change this is really important that you are the constant in their lives, so much of what they are experiencing now is different – they can’t go to school, the clubs they attended are all closed, they can’t see their friends or even their grandparents. Their home has suddenly turned into a place of work. They need you to be your normal funny, annoying, kind, (insert you own adjectives here) selves. They don’t need to see you stressed out by the latest news bulletin or yelling at the TV when the education secretary starts talking about schools.

Keep your routines as normal as possible and aim to keep things familiar. When our son was sick some days he would make it downstairs and promptly fall fast asleep on the living room carpet, he was 12 and as big as me at this point so any attempts to carry him back to bed were long gone. Life carried on around him mostly. His brother in and out from the garden shouting. I even have an image of his little sister dancing round him watching a DVD of his performance in a street dance show the year before and copying all his moves. I clearly remember laughing at the irony. But, life had to go on for everyone else, and those routines and normality were even more important during our time of uncertainty.

 

Boy asleep on carpet with his dog, he has been home schooled long before the COVID lockdown due to ME

Choose health

You know your child best and what makes them tick and now more than ever this is going to be important. Think about how much sleep do they need? If they are teenagers and don’t have live lessons first thing in the morning, would they function better with an extra hour in bed? Are they better with an early night and are most productive in the mornings? Understanding when they work best and getting to grips with exactly what they need to do can revolutionise the way they spend their time and increase their productivity. Leaving them more time to have fun.

Do they need lots of snacks? Are the the type of kid that needs space? Do they thrive on the company of others? Do they need to run off steam outside? All three of my children are very different and they all have very different needs, partly due to their different ages but mostly because they are very different people.

Are their any fitness challenges that they would enjoy? Would they like to try a new sport at home? Could you get them moving by setting challenges within a sport they already love? Could you get them involved in the kitchen?

 

To Sum up 

Learning is way down the list of priorities during lockdown. I am sure that all of my children will get done what they need to however I see the six things that I have listed above as far more important. I know that if they are in place learning will happen easily.

When my son was first sick an I was in survival mode and I didn’t always get it right. When I relaxed and focussed on what was important – him! It made all the difference to his health – mentally and physically and to his learning.

I would love to hear the ways that you have thought of to have fun and work together with your kids throughout the COVID lockdowns. Share your ideas you never know you may see them and be inspired by you.

 

 

Would you like to know how to get the best out of having the kids home during another COVID lockdown

Having  your child or children home without the time to properly plan for this change may feel overwhelming.

Getting a schedule together, keeping everyone motivated, managing all the things you usually have to do and God forbid actually trying to work from home.

If your child has a health condition or disability there will be another level to all of this. Missed hospital appointments or tests causing stress and now the responsibility of physio, occupational therapy or speech and language therapy may now fall solely on your shoulders. Which, let’s face it, is likely to make you feel stressed, overwhelmed and alone.

Imagine having a best friend by your side, who has been through all the things that you are experiencing, feeling all the raw emotions and has the answers?

Together we will will focus on the areas where you feel that you need support and create a plan to support you. So, are you ready to start achieving the best outcomes for you and your child during lockdown?

Join The Community

The Thrive Tribe is a community of women who have chronic illness or are a parent to a child who has an illness or disability.

You may feel like no-one understands what its like living with your chronic illness or worrying everyday about your kids. That you are hanging on by a thread or the future may feel a little uncertain. In The Thrive Tribe we get that.

You value life and want to be the best version of you. To manage your symptoms effectively so that you can live your best life. Or, to support your children to live theirs.

In the community we will be having real, open conversations about how you can do this. With my experience of living with multiple chronic illness’ and raising kids with CMT, EDS, PoTS and ME. I know that the struggle is real. I will be sharing guidance, challenges, my personal tips and real life stories to remind you of how this can become a reality now!

 

6 Top Tips To Manage Chronic Illness Crashes

6 Top Tips To Manage Chronic Illness Crashes

When you live with chronic illness ‘crashes’ are inevitable no matter how hard you try to avoid them.

Getting the balance between doing too much or too little is like walking a tightrope.  Mostly for me a crash comes when I do too much for too long.  I’m not stupid and I have lived with this for long enough to recognise the subtle signs that my body gives me, trying to warn me to slow down, to take a breath, to re-charge.  However more often than not I ignore them or think that just this once it will be OK if I push through.

Over the years my ability to manage my crashes has improved but every so often my body will throw me a curve ball.  It’s like it trying to prove who is really running the show.

I’ve learnt that the only way to avoid a monumental crash is respect the boss, to listen to my body and treat it with respect.  To manage, to pace and to keep all the plates spinning delicately in the air.

 

How the holiday Season may effect your chronic illness symptoms

The holiday season throws another element into the mix, although many of us will be experiencing quieter Christmas celebrations this year due to the COVID pandemic. Other factors may have an effect on how well you manage your symptoms and how you feel.

  • Routine. Extra time off, late nights or lay ins, even different meal times may impact your symptoms.
  • Sleep. Your sleep pattern may alter because of those late nights and lazy mornings but pay attention to the other factors may also alter your sleep during the holiday season, including the food you eat, alcohol, routine and how much energy you use during the day.
  • Food. The food that you eat may be different to usual over the holiday period, this can affect symptoms
  • Alcohol. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t raise a glass with you Turkey this Christmas (I’m not the alcohol police!) but its really important to be aware of the medications that you take and the possible interactions.  Also how it affects your sleep, your mood and your symptoms.
  • Travel/ socialising with friends. Depending where you are in the world this year you may be allowed to meet up with family and that may involve travelling, which can make you more tired.  Coupled with socialising and catching up with family and friends this can take its toll on how you feel.

6 Signs that a chronic illness crash may be coming

Here are the top 5 ways to spot a crash is on its way and try to do something about it before it floors you.  Hopefully by recognising the signs and acting on them a crash can be lessened or avoided.

  1. A really big appetite.  For a few days before a crash hits it is like my body needs extra fuel, I often crave sweet, empty carbs.
  2. Being teary.  From crying at Countryfile’s stories promoting the big Ramble for Children in Need watching the Undateables (I love a happy ending) to welling up when I have to ask my kids to do their HW for the 11th time.
  3. Brain fog. Why did I want to put the milk away in the oven?  I have to think extra hard when I’m doing something as I lose my train of thought really quickly.  Focussing on reading is impossible and I forget why I have walked into a room in the first place.
  4. Being cold.  I can’t regulate my body temperature at the best of times but when a crash is coming I’m cold all the time.
  5. Breathlessness.  From walking to the kitchen to pop the kettle on to sitting and having a conversation.
  6. Poor sleep. When a crash is coming I become tired but wired.

6 Things to do to minimise a chronic illness crash

  1. Rest. Simple to say but impossible to actually put into practice when you have demands placed on you from family, friends, work or study. Resting completely it is the best way to stop the crash getting worse. Rest now.
  2. Act immediately. When you know (and in my case finally admit to yourself) that a crash is coming you have to stop. The sooner the act the easier that it is to minimise the fallout. I have been at my poorliest when I have pushed and pushed through.
  3. Delegate. You are not invincible and not everything is ‘your job’. My problem is that my family don’t always do the things that I ask them to do, a) to my standard, or, b) the second I ask them to do it – which just stresses me out! but I have to learn that the house will not fall down and I will become well much quicker if I let them help. And it’s never a bad idea to organise my lazy kids with some chores 😉
  4. Prepare. Think ahead – A little time spent planning things in advance can save heaps of energy later. From online shopping to planning your tasks and energy over a week. If you have something unavoidable to do plan good rest before and after.
  5. Ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, yet it is the thing I struggle the most with. Start with those people that you know best and that love you dearly. You might be surprised at how willing they are to lend a hand – I always am. From doing the school run for you or making dinner to doing the ironing. Think about what will help you the most and if people offer without you having to ask, say YES!!!
  6. Pace yourself. To get over a crash pacing is key and pulling back from non essential activities will help you to recover more quickly. I try to look ahead for a few weeks and plan my energy levels: I never have two busy days in a row, I plan plenty of time to recover from activities, I cancel non-essential activities or appointments and I only socialise with people that make my heart jump or if it’s something I’m really looking forward to.

I hope it helps you to recognise and act on the warning signs that a crash may be brewing, and to get back to normal more quickly (whatever normal is)!

 

If you enjoyed this post you may like…

Surviving a crash if you have a chronic a chronic illness or The signs or carer burnout and how to fix them.

Join The Community

The Thrive Tribe is a community of women who have chronic illness or are a parent to a child who has an illness or disability.

You may feel like no-one understands what its like living with your chronic illness or worrying everyday about your kids. That you are hanging on by a thread or the future may feel a little uncertain. In The Thrive Tribe we get that.

You value life and want to be the best version of you. To manage your symptoms effectively so that you can live your best life. Or, to support your children to live theirs.

In the community we will be having real, open conversations about how you can do this. With my experience of living with multiple chronic illness’ and raising kids with CMT, EDS, PoTS and ME. I know that the struggle is real. I will be sharing guidance, challenges, my personal tips and real life stories to remind you of how this can become a reality now!

When you join the Tribe you can find your ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SELF-CARE and HANDY SELF-CARE CHECKLIST available in the files to download.

The 10 minute guide to understanding that self care is far more than having a bubble bath and lighting a scented candle. Why it is important to plan for if you have a chronic illness or are caring for someone who does and, a handy checklist to get you started with great self-care practices to support yous physical and mental health and that fit who you are!

 

Lessons I’ve Learnt To Help Me Live With My Chronic Illness Long Term

Lessons I’ve Learnt To Help Me Live With My Chronic Illness Long Term

Chronic illness has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

When I was diagnosed with my first big diagnosis in my 30’s, Charcot Marie Tooth Disease (side note – it’s nothing to do with teeth) it floored me.  I just second guessed everything and constantly re-examined my life and my future.  Life spiralled. Outwardly I was still that same person but internally my mind was a mush, like a swan on the surface but frantically paddling underneath just to try to stay afloat.  I lived… but in a blur.  My career in teaching was over and I constantly questioned, ‘Who was I now?’ as so much of who I was was bound up in what I did.

It was a tough time.

Slowly I learnt, I trusted, I talked, I became empowered and I focussed on what I could do not what I couldn’t. I found work arounds for things to make my life easier.  I began to own my life again.

Ultimately, I changed my mindset.

Most importantly and life-changingly, I learned how to not let my chronic illness, which had been the focus for so many years, become my story – the story of someone who shirked away from her own life because she was diagnosed with this stuff and the world now owed her something for giving her that to carry. I looked forward, I focussed on what I wanted and I went out there and got it.

No more excuses.

I’ve learnt a few lessons along the way that I’d love to share with you, this being one of them, you have to focus on where you are going not where you have come from.

 

 

7 Lessons that I have learnt

 

1. Learn about your illness so you feel empowered and know how to help yourself. This can help you in doctors appointments advocating for yourself and discussing treatment options. It also helps you to manage and understand your symptoms for yourself and communicate what you need to to family, friends or colleagues without feeling awkward.

2. Beware of social media groups. There are some great people online, I have connected and built friendships with fabulous people from all over the world that I have never met. But there are also people who want to compete, if you ask a question seeking support, their symptoms will always be worse, their life harder.  It’s really important for them to let everybody know just how bad everything is for them. Be careful of falling down this rabbit hole. You can’t fix everybody.

3. Surround yourself by people that care. This sounds simple but your circle may get smaller when you are diagnosed with a chronic illness, that’s just how it is. The people that you once had wild nights out with will drop off the radar when you aren’t showing up anymore. You need people in your life that will listen and support you but also will talk about other stuff, make you laugh, have fun. There is so much more to life than your diagnosis and you need people that will help you keep things in perspective.

4. Practice self care. This means eat well, have a good sleep routine, get fresh air, switch off, move, laugh and nourish your soul. Balance and self care starts with YOU. You need to learn to focus on you, to be aware of what you want, what you don’t, learn to love yourself well and ditch the idea that self care is selfish. It’s not. When you have balance, you can divide your time and energy across all areas of your life, ensuring an appropriate focus on family, learning, spirituality, and career, etc and nurturing your overall wellness.

5. Set boundries. Boundries are super important when you have a chronic illness. Firstly it is important to recognise anything that may trigger a flare or make symptoms worse and anticipate them. You need to be clear about your needs and communicate them to the people around you, your friends and family are not experiencing your illness as you are and it is your responsibility to let them know how you feel and ask for help if you need it. This includes saying no to things if you need to. It is about giving yourself permission to do what is best for you.

6. Focus on what is good in your life. The saying ‘where your attention goes your energy flows’ is very true and it is important to remember it. When you are surrounded by doctors appointments and feel rubbish it that understandably where your focus is, I get it. But, the more that you focus on how rough things are, the worse they get. Think about what is good in your life, what you are good at, what you enjoy and do more of it. Your symptoms may not improve but the way that you feel about your diagnosis and your life will.

7. Look forward. Focusing on how things were, the job you had, the plans you made that seem unachievable now, will not help. Stop. Start from where you are today. What do you want? Get specific, what do you really want in your life now? In three months time, six months, three years? What is important to you? What do you really value? If you think about it it probably isn’t that high flying job that payed mega bucks but you hated, where you were burnt out and never saw your friends, even for coffee. Focus on the small things that will help you reach your bigger goals and start now. No more excuses.

 

Working with a coach can be really beneficial to help you on this journey by identifying the roadblocks that are stopping you from achieving your desired outcomes. Beyond this, NLP lets us delve deeper and identify the root cause of these roadblocks, which when removed, result in a more profound transformation. Do you want to chat about how positive mindset coaching could impact your life? Book a call.

Join the The Thrive Tribe on Facebook – A brand new private group where I will share more personal tips about how to live well with chronic illness and there will be weekly challenges to help you think about your life in a different way.

Surviving a Crash When You Have a Chronic Illness

Surviving a Crash When You Have a Chronic Illness

When you live with chronic illness ‘crashes’ are inevitable no matter how hard you try to avoid them.

Getting the balance between doing too much or too little is like walking a tightrope.  Mostly for me a crash comes when I do too much for too long.  I’m not stupid and I have lived with this for long enough to recognise the subtle signs that my body gives me, trying to warn me to slow down, to take a breath, to re-charge.  However more often than not I ignore them.

Why do I do this?!? Is it a conscious decision? To be completely honest I’m not sure. I really should know better, burying my head in the sand and pretending that everything is OK will not make this go away. The only way to avoid a monumental crash is to listen to my body and treat it with respect. To manage, to pace and to keep all the plates spinning delicately in the air.

The reality is that this doesn’t always happen.

 

6 Signs that a crash is coming

 

Here are the top 5 ways to spot a crash is on its way and try to do something about it before it floors you. Hopefully by recognising the signs and acting on them a crash can be lessened or avoided.

  1. A really big appetite.  For a few days before a crash hits it is like my body needs extra fuel, I often crave sweet, empty carbs.
  2. Being teary.  From crying at Countryfile’s stories promoting the big Ramble for Children in Need watching the Undateables (I love a happy ending) to welling up when I have to ask my kids to do their H.W. for the 11th time.
  3. Brain fog. Why did I want to put the milk away in the oven?  I have to think extra hard when I’m doing something as I lose my train of thought really quickly.  Focusing on reading is impossible and I forget why I have walked into a room in the first place.
  4. Being cold.  I can’t regulate my body temperature at the best of times but when a crash is coming I’m cold all the time.
  5.  Breathlessness.  From walking to the kitchen to pop the kettle on to sitting and having a conversation.
  6. Poor sleep. When a crash is coming I become tired but wired.

6 Things to do to minimise a crash

  1. Rest. Simple to say but impossible to actually put into practice when you have demands placed on you from family, friends, work or study. Resting completely it is the best way to stop the crash getting worse. Rest now.
  2. Act immediately. When you know (and in my case finally admit to yourself) that a crash is coming you have to stop. The sooner the act the easier that it is to minimise the fallout. I have been at my poorliest when I have pushed and pushed through.
  3. Delegate. You are not invincible and not everything is ‘your job’. My problem is that my family don’t always do the things that I ask them to do a) to my standard, or, b) the second I ask them to do it – which just stresses me out! but I have to learn that the house will not fall down and I will become well much quicker if I let them help. And it’s never a bad idea to organise my lazy kids with some chores 😉
  4. Prepare. Think ahead – A little time spent planning things in advance can save heaps of energy later. From online shopping to planning your tasks and energy over a week. If you have something unavoidable to do plan good rest before and after.
  5. Ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, yet it is the thing I struggle the most with. Start with those people that you know best and that love you dearly. You might be surprised at how willing they are to lend a hand – I always am. From doing the school run for you or making dinner to doing the ironing. Think about what will help you the most and if people offer without you having to ask, say YES!!!
  6. Pace yourself. To get over a crash pacing is key and pulling back from non essential activities will help you to recover more quickly. I try to look ahead for a few weeks and plan my energy levels: I never have two busy days in a row, I plan plenty of time to recover from activities, I cancel non-essential activities or appointments and I only socialise with people that make my heart jump or if it’s something I’m really looking forward to.

I hope it helps you to recognise and act on the warning signs that a crash may be brewing, and to get back to normal more quickly (whatever normal is)!

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